Love In Action Schools

If you’ve bagged yourself a date with a complete hottie, then you’re probably in a mad panic about what you’re going to wear and what you’re going to say!

Come on though, going on a date isn’t rocket science, and if you don’t start to calm down you’re going to look a bit pathetic and desperate!

Make sure you make a good impression and get your outfit just right. A nice tight mini dress is always good, and you’ll have no end of admirers when you’re out- showing him that you’re in demand and not short of offers! And if you’re wearing a dead tight dress, it’s a good idea to cut down on the carbs for a few days- nobody wants to be seen out with a big munter!

Try not too get too drunk on your date, or they might try and take advantage. Nobody likes an easy trollop (although God knows there’s enough of them about nowadays!) That’s not to say you shouldn’t make him buy some a few glasses of champagne though. You don’t want to look like a cheap date!

If the date starts to go badly though, don’t worry about looking rude. There’s no point leading someone on, so pretend to take a phonecall outside then just leg it! You can always block his number so you won’t need to hear from him again!

You’ve gotta be cruel to be kind!

Sick of being single? Sick of spending your Saturday nights in clubs surrounded by drunken fools? Then you’re definitely not alone, and it’s time to get yourself back on the dating scene again.

Depending on the kind of guy that you want to date, it should be pretty easy to capture their attention…

Rich businessman

If you want to pull a rich businessman, you need to look and act the part. Whack on your best little black dress, some black stilettos, little clutch bag and a bucketful of bling and you’re well on your way to some free champagne!

Cool indie guy

Even though they’re really not my cup of tea, if you want to bag a ‘too cool for school’ guy, get yourself down to some local gigs and dingy bars, kitted out in your best slouchy jeans, t-shirt and adopt the ‘haven’t made any effort’ look. It takes allsorts!!

Complete poser

If you fancy a buff piece of eye candy on your arm, slap on the fake tan, back comb your hair and wear as little as possible. These guys thrive off attention, so if you look anything less than immaculate I’m afraid you’re not going to get a look in!

Nice, sweet, normal guy

I’m afraid I can’t help you on this one, as these guys just don’t exist!! So I wouldn’t bother looking in the first place!

However, if all else fails, slap on the brightest lippy and tightest, smallest bodycon dress you can find and see what comes your way…

These days, WAGS are the new A-listers, and with their fab collections of shoes and handbags it’s not exactly difficult to see why.

Although they might not want to admit it, what woman wouldn’t want to be given free rein on a footballers credit card- with days spent shopping in designer boutiques and sipping on champagne- rather than being sat in a boring office with just the lecherous geek from accounts for company!

Capturing the attention of a footballer isn’t exactly rocket science either- you just need to follow a few simple steps!

1) Find the shortest skirt and highest heels possible
This is the best ways to catch any man’s attention- and any girl that goes out in trousers or jeans needs a good slap in my opinion! In fact, the bouncers should refuse to let them in the club!

2) Big hair big lashes
It’s all about getting the most attention, so arm yourself with the biggest backcombed hair extensions possible, and for the ultimate false eyelashes, I layer on 2 pairs together.

3) Bling
No wannabe WAG is complete without a bit of bling, and if you’re going out with just a simple pair of stud earrings on you really are asking to be ignored!

4) Confidence
Footballers are known for being arrogant pricks, so give it your best strut in those 7 inch platforms and show them that you mean business!

You should be now on your way to that free champagne, free Louboutins and a cheat on your arm (which is a small price to pay by anyone’s standards!!)

RESULT!!!!!!!!

Admit it ladies, we all love a man with a bulging wallet, and in my humble opinion there’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of it!

If you’re single (or even if you’re just a self-confessed player!), looking for a guy that will smother you with free champagne on a night out is nothing less than your prerogative! I’ve spent many a night in Panacea Alderley absolutely smashed courtesy of free champagne provided by loaded gentlemen (and the odd footballer but that’s a story for another day!)

Some of these men have got more money than sense, so if they’re willing to share and share alike I’m not going to refuse!

If its means a free bottle of champagne and VIP access I’m more than happy to pretend to fancy the lecherous perv for a couple of hours!

So get your spades out and get digging this weekend ladies!

If you’re a sassy singleton like myself, it’s pretty certain that you attract more than your fair share of losers on a daily basis!

Whether it’s in a bar, club in even down the local Tescos, there always seems to be some right perve eyeing you up or asking for your mobile number- sad!!

So girls, if you’re on the look out for a new fella, here are some things that you should check:

Shoes- Make sure that they’re wearing stylish shoes, scruffy trainers just don’t cut it!

Clothes- Make sure there are no scally labels like Henleys knocking about. Double yuck!

Wallet- Make sure it’s fat!! You know what I’m talking about! Nobody wants a wasteman- I’ve had my fair share of them in the past and enough is enough! If a guy’s drinking a WKD or a cheap beer you need to steer well clear!